Do you ever feel like with all the family and friends around you, that you still don't have a solid support system?
Someone that will hear you out without judging, look at things from a wider perspective and help you come to your own decisions? All too often what we actually end up with is a lot of people dictating what you should or shouldn't do, judging decisions you may or may not make and only talking things through with you if it fits what they believe should happen. Or worse, not talking about things at all, as if the very fact that you need to talk a decision through means you're weak and again, need dictating to. Anyone who's been through this knows that what this ultimately leads to is a constant stream of worried, indecisive thinking that takes place in our own minds. With no safe place to vent for fear of being talked down to or talked about behind your back, we keep everything inside creating a bottleneck of thoughts and feelings that have no escape route. And guess what, no decisions can possibly be made when there's no space left in your mind to digest everything that's going on. Having someone there that will listen without judging, listen without being emotionally attached - and listen without running off and sharing your innermost secrets with others; is really hard to find. It's what led to me to turn to someone else, someone outside of my situation who would guide me back to my natural, confident self, where I would not only be able to make my own decisions but also ultimately trust that my decisions were right for me. That person was my coach. They guided me towards a place where I could discover my own clarity on my situation and without telling me what to do; led me to a place where I could finally see through the jumble of thoughts in my head. Ultimately, they helped me to restore my trust and contentment in Allah's plan for me, something I had been unable to do for many months. Once that trust is restored and your mind is quiet and clear, it becomes very easy to choose which path you should take. And in the same way that my coach was able to guide me to this place of clarity, that's what I'd love to do for you too. All you need to do is click here to access my free online webinar: 'How to know for sure whether or not to leave your marriage’. Love, Ptissem Connect with on Facebook: @PtissemCoach
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It sat there looking like new for so long.
My parents bought me that table. And now it sits there, with one chair broken, its leg split and a danger to anyone who attempts to sit on it. My poor table. My poor mug...it had never known such force before. And now it lies there in pieces, shattered from the force of hitting the wall. Leaving a dent in my new white wall. My poor wall. My poor bin...it served me well, but ended up getting kicked and beaten until it was no longer able to function. My poor chin. Pushed and poked for no other reason than disagreeing with what he said. My poor shoulder. Pushed with such force whilst holding my son, that I fell back several steps but thankfully didn’t drop him. My poor head. Buried under all the clothes from my wardrobe, thrown over me for apparently not being tidy enough. My poor thigh. Whacked over and over for daring to agree to a play date for my son. My poor headscarf. Grabbed and pulled because whacking my thigh wasn’t enough. My poor parents. Waiting for me to show up for lunch. Unaware that I was being physically abused in the car ride over and instead had to turn back home, in order to not worry them. My poor back. Pushed hard against the wall for giving him the silent treatment for treating me so badly. My poor eye. My poor lips. My poor nose. My poor unborn baby, inside me whilst his mother suffered abuse at the hands of his father... Abuse escalates. Slowly but surely. It’s only ever heading one way. And that’s in the direction of more abuse. At what point do we step back and realise that this is not love and this is not why we were created, to be abused and dominated by our partner. At what point do we stop and reflect on the damage the relationship is causing to our emotional and physical well-being - and that of our children. At what point do we step up and reach out for support. Support that will help move us towards the life of calm, happiness and peace that we all deserve and that we can all have. At what point do we stop and say enough is enough? If you’re unsure about your relationship and feel stuck, not knowing what to do or how to move forward, then access my free webinar 'How to know for sure whether or not to leave your marriage'. It's packed with valuable and insightful information, that will help free of you the challenges that can make us feel so stuck, as if there is no way out. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Click here to take that first step. With all my love and support, Ptissem I used to dread my husband asking me this question.
We were three years into our marriage and I lost count of the number of times I thought to myself, that if I had my time again, I would definitely not marry him. And it was a really easy and decisive NO. I knew with certainty that I would not choose to do it again. And that's why I dreaded him asking me, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to confidently lie... Now surely that was a really telling sign that things weren't great and perhaps we shouldn't have been married to each other full stop. Perhaps that question tells you everything you need to know? Are you brave enough to answer it? If the answer is no, then why? What are the reasons? Are they things you can change or work on? And if it's a yes, then you know you have a pretty solid foundation to continue building upon, even if you're dealing with some really challenging issues. Whatever the answer, it can make you look at your relationship from a (much needed) different perspective. If you had the chance to do it all again, what would you change? And more importantly, what does this tell you about your relationship? Love, Ptissem P.S. Want to dig deeper? Then click here because I have just the thing for you. Connect with me via my Facebook page: @Ptissemcoach A friend once asked me if I wasn't lonely by myself now that I was divorced.
Before I had a chance to reply my other friend chimed in and said "Oh don't worry about Ptissem, just give her a good book and she's happy". I didn't reply to her, because in my head I was thinking 'She doesn't know me like she used to because that's not what I do with my spare time anymore'. But then it hit me. It wasn't my friend who didn't know me anymore, it was me. She knew me before marriage and children and knew what I loved to do. It got me thinking about all the other little things I used to love doing, but I had somehow become completely detached from over the years, until I'd got the point where I was just a wife and mother. Now I don't say this negatively; it's an honour to be a mother and with the right person, being a wife is wonderful. But what about you aside from that? Is there even a you? For me the realisation was no, there was no sense of 'me' to be found anywhere anymore. And I realised I really missed that, I really missed me. How do I get her back? How do you get 'you' back? How can you make time for yourself when most days you're lucky if you even manage to shower? Family life is exhausting. It can seem impossible to find the time and will to see to yourself when you have so many other demands on you. There are many practical steps you can take to find yourself again. But there is one, very simple, but transformational spiritual step you can take, that will deeply impact how you see yourself forever and ensure that you never lose 'you' again. In fact, it will transform you into the best version of yourself. To find out more, join me and Kathryn Jones on the 23rd February at the ME First Revolution and get back in touch with your best self. Love, Ptissem Connect with me on Facebook: @Ptissemcoach My ex-neighbour from hell recently appeared on the Jeremy Kyle chat show.
It was a stark reminder of how for 18 months, her and her gang of drug-taking, fist-fighting and house-robbing friends, made my life hell. I’d already fled my marital home due to domestic violence, I’d had to spend 5 months in a women’s refuge - pregnant and with my then 3 year old; before I was able to make this new start, in this new house, and finally start moving forward in life. It was all supposed to be positive from here on in. The struggle was over now, surely? Except it wasn’t. I ended up with a newborn who decided that sleeping at night was completely overrated, and so I suffered from sleep deprivation for the best part of a year. As a single mum, I suddenly had to do everything for both children and had zero time left for me. Finding time to shower became a luxury. So when I was suddenly landed with the neighbours from hell, I couldn’t believe my luck (or lack of). Not only did they regularly jolt me out of bed in the middle of the night with their domestics and street fighting, but they also took it upon themselves to leave their human faeces on more than one occasion, in my own back garden. Life couldn’t have got more sh*t. Pun intended. What had happened to my fresh start? Weren’t things supposed to be better from now on? Now that I’d actually made the decision to go it alone and sorted out all the logistics of making that happen. Why were things still not falling into place? What I came to realise through this experience, is that life doesn’t go according to some programme we have in our minds. That once we’re done with the difficult parts, life automatically gets easier. In life, we never know what is going to be thrown at us. Be that ‘good’, or ‘bad’. What we can do however, is be ready. Ready to handle anything that comes our way, and (effortlessly) fight it head on with nothing more than the tools that we’ve already been blessed with. We just need a little bit of training, to get really good at understanding the special tool we already have in our psychological toolbox - and seeing exactly how it works in our own lives. This psychological tool equips us with everything we need to deal with the day to day struggles in life, and come out the other side as (very happy and very contented) survivors. If you’re struggling right now and can’t see how things can get better for you, then join me and Kathryn Jones on the 23rd February at the ME First Revolution, where I’ll be speaking about how you can move away from a place of suffering, to a place of peace and contentment with life. Because I promise you, life doesn’t have to be a struggle. There is a better and easier way. Love, Ptissem P.S. And for the record, I don’t watch Jeremy Kyle ;-) Connect with me via my Facebook page: @Ptissemcoach This is a phrase I've unfortunately heard a lot.
My parents innocently dropped this phrase into conversation whenever they spoke to someone about my second, failed marriage. They said it directly to me too - "Ptissem, you have no luck". I used to wish they'd say something else, something that didn't make me feel so helpless or like that last bit of hope that I was clinging onto was being washed away. It's true, I don't have much luck in life, I'd end up agreeing in my mind. It's such a casual comment, but it's loaded with negative assumptions that slowly start to seep into your way of thinking and your perception of life. 'Nothing I do ever works out' 'Why do others have all the luck and I don't have any?' 'Why has this happened to me when I'm a good person? 'What's the point in trying to do anything now, it's not going to work out for me' 'I'm just one of those unlucky people; I'll just have to deal with it and not expect much from life moving forward' For such a casual comment, that's a lot of damage to your way of thinking and ultimately your emotional well-being. How can anyone positively move forward in their lives when all of these limiting beliefs are slowly simmering under the surface? The truth is, you're not unlucky, at all. You just had a bad experience. And that bad experience has zero effect on how you can move forward with life. A simple shift in how you look at things can have such a dramatic effect on how you move forward. A simple shift in perception can totally transform your way of thinking and free you of these made-up, limiting beliefs that do nothing but help you drown in sorrow. If you'd like to experience the simple but powerful shift that will completely transform your life, allow you to drop these debilitating beliefs and instead move forward with positivity and self-assurance; then join me and Kathryn Jones on the 23rd February at the ME First Revolution. Love, Ptissem Connect with me on Facebook: @ptissemcoach So many women innocently believe that sacrificing themselves for the sake of their children and their family, is real true love.
That their purpose as a mother is fulfilled if they do this...regardless of the fact that in doing this they are sacrificing their own chance of true love, happiness and inner peace. I used to believe this. My decision to stay in an abusive, unhappy marriage was based on this. I never questioned it. The right thing to do in my mind, was to stay and keep my family together. And sacrificing my own hopes and dreams was just part of the parcel in doing the right thing. But what happens when we stop and really think... Is this really the right thing to do? Is is right to put an end to our own happiness and future dreams? Is it right to raise our children to believe that this is all they should expect from life? Is it right to stay in a loveless marriage? The answer is clearly no. Self sacrifice in the long term will undo all the good intentions you have for your family. Believing that you can have a happy family life, without sacrificing yourself in the process, is what will give you the courage to stand up and make the changes that will strengthen and fulfill your life and in turn those of your children. Placing real value on your own self will inevitably enrich the lives of all those around you, with no hint of self sacrifice around. To stand up and make the change to value yourself and let go of this suffocating belief, then click here to watch this powerful, free webinar: How To Know For Sure Whether Or Not To Leave Your Marriage I can't wait for you to realise that the dreams you have hidden deep in your heart can actually become a reality. Love, Ptissem I find it amusing how we are so quick to turn to Google for answers to everything in life.
At the height of my indecisiveness on whether to divorce my husband or not, I spent hours scouring Google for the answers to my problems. My Google searches were always along these lines..
Now the funny thing is that just looking at my search terms will very quickly tell you what I wanted to do deep down inside. But do you think I could see that whilst searching? Nope. Instead I looked to Google to clarify everything for me and provide me with some kind of 'aha' moment, where once I'd read the 100th article on divorce, that's when I'd know with certainty what to do. But the answer was always right there inside of me. I just couldn't see it whilst I was so busy searching outside of me for the answers. This answer, this wisdom, is inside all of us, all of the time. But we keep it veiled from ourselves with layer upon layer of incessant thinking, worrying and searching in all the wrong places. Peel back the layers, remove the veil and totally transform how you look at things. It's so simple and so clear. And if it doesn't seem clear to you right now, then I have just the thing for you. Give up on Google and start searching within yourself by clicking right here: www.ptissem.com/gift Love, Ptissem |