One of my earliest memories as a child is being in a sweet shop waiting to pay, and seeing the man before me pull out several pound coins to pay for his selection of chocolate.
Only having a small amount of pocket money myself, I stood there in amazement at how much he was able to buy with all of those gold coins. It was like my own little Charlie and the Chocolate Factory moment. I couldn't wait to grow up and have lots of money like this man, so that I too could buy myself as much chocolate as I wanted. I'd be really happy then. What actually happened though, is that although I grew up and my pocket contained these same gold coins I'd once dreamed about, my focus was now on other things. I would be happy when...
We can innocently spend most of our lives living by this 'I'll be happy when...' type thinking. We believe that something outside of us needs to happen in order for us to be happy and feel like we've made it in life. And when the things on our list don't happen, or don't unfold as we wanted them to, we can easily start to think and believe that we've failed in life and in our mission to be happy. Instead of feeling happy, we end up feeling lost. However we're only ever lost in an illusion. And it's one that we've made up entirely ourselves. And because we've made it up ourselves, it's super easy to let go of it and experience real, lasting happiness that doesn't require anything outside of us to happen, in order to show up in our lives. If you want to let go of this unhelpful and never ending stream of 'I'll be happy when...' type thinking, then you're going to love my ‘Effortless Relationships’ live coaching programme. You'll discover how to see through this illusion in all areas of your life so that you can start to live life from your highest self (which coincidentally is also your happiest self). This live monthly coaching programme also includes access to my 5-part online ‘Effortless Relationships’ video training - but you can get the first module for free by going here: ptissem.com/free Love, Ptissem
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What's the craziest thing you've ever wished would happen, so that it would be easier for you to decide whether or not to leave your marriage?
I'm talking about these kinds of crazy thoughts…
And the king of all crazy thoughts and the one I'm going to own up to having myself? Yep, you guessed it, death. Because if they somehow just disappeared then that would mean I'd be free to start again, without having had to make the decision myself. The decision would be made for me. Anyone see a problem with the above? How about, it's insane?!! Is making the decision whether or not to leave your marriage really that hard? That we have to contemplate or sometimes even secretly hope for these types of things to happen so that we'll be relieved of the decision making burden? Is this what confusion and fear of regret does to us? It really doesn't have to be this difficult or confusing. And it’s why I created my Effortless Relationships coaching programme; to show you how you can easily swap these crazy (and in retrospect very funny) thoughts, for a crystal clear vision of what you really desire from your relationship, and how you can gain the clarity needed to make the right decision for your marriage. No cheating or dying necessary ;-) The live coaching programme also includes access to my 5-part Effortless Relationships online training course - and you can get the first module completely free, by going right here: www.ptissem.com/free Love, Ptissem One of my favourite tracks is 'Bag Lady' by Erykah Badu, where she sings of a woman so loaded with bags, that she runs into a whole host of problems in her life.
Bag Lady is breaking her back carrying so much stuff around. It gets in her way to the point where she can't move at the speed she needs to, and when men see her approaching with all those bags - they run a mile. And the man that doesn't initially run, soon gets completely overwhelmed and overcrowded by all the bags she carries with her. So he'll probably end up running too. 'Pack light'sings Erykah. Pack light by letting go of your past relationship pain, fears and insecurities, even if you feel it's hard. You may feel that someone has hurt you so badly in the past that you can't possibly let it go. But just like Bag Lady, you jeopardise ruining future relationships by overcrowding your mind and your relationship, with so much emotional baggage. The truth is, it's actually really simple to let go of your past - as simple as letting bags just drop to the floor. It doesn't involve special mind tricks, or having to 'deal with' your past. It's just a simple, but transformational way of understanding how your mind really works. And when you get this understanding, you're able to quickly bounce back from break-ups and heartbreak, so that you don't carry any needy energy, drama or emotional baggage around with you in your current relationship - or when you meet new people. Don't break your back, or your relationship. Let go of your emotional baggage for good and move forward towards a happier, easier and most definitely lighter marriage. And if this sounds too hard to do, then you should go right here: www.ptissem.com/free Or check the link in my bio to go straight to Baggage Drop. Love, Ptissem |