As someone who has dipped her toes into the world of online ‘halal’ dating recently, I have a little bit to say on the topic..
In fact, I often find myself swiping through profiles on Muzmatch or the like, shaking my head in disappointment at what I’m looking at.
And let’s just say many a profile have been screenshotted for entertainment purposes - sorry not sorry.
But instead of just venting, I’m going to try and help those guys out there, who clearly don’t have any female friends or family that can help them out when it comes to this stuff.
So here’s my Public Service Announcement for the day...
I'm going to let you in on what women really think about your online dating profile, and how you may have been innocently sabotaging your chances of finding your soul mate - and instead ending up as fodder for WhatsApp group chats...
Here are 5 of the biggest mistakes that men make when it comes to their online dating profile...
1. Blurred photographs - nothing screams 'I'm already married/in a relationship' louder than a blurred photo. Women will automatically be suspicious and pass on you before you can even say 'salam’. Not married, but just don't want your cousins spotting you on the app? Then this too is a huge turn off I'm afraid. Women look for confidence and transparency..and hiding behind a blurred photo for whatever reason, just isn't going to cut it for them.
2. Rubbish photos - notice the pattern here? Photos are a big deal when it comes to online dating and not for the reasons you may think. It's not about how attractive you are, but the effort you’ve taken to upload clear, decent photos of yourself. Women see this as reflective of the effort you're putting into the marriage process as a whole, and will be instantly turned off if your photos show zero effort. And I'll throw in an extra tip here for free - there really is no need to upload a photo of you posing next to a BMW/Mercedes/Range Rover - unless you want to get passed on that is.
3. Profile text - yes, that great big text box is there for a reason. And it's not for you to fill with random letters and squiggles until you hit the minimum word count. Likewise a sentence or two that tells the woman pretty much nothing about yourself, is going to leave her wondering whether it's even worth the energy to match with you. Take the time to let women know a little about yourself, what you like and enjoy, what you're looking for in a partner etc. This will make them far more likely to want to engage with you further. Men are visual creatures, but women crave connection - and that doesn't come from a photo and one random sentence about yourself. Oh and P.S. Please learn how to use spellcheck.
4. Not reading the woman's profile - the quickest way to get someone to dismiss you, is if it becomes blindingly obvious that you've tried to match with her without reading her profile. It can end up wasting your time and hers, and leave her no longer wanting to engage with you. If you can't take a few mins out of your day to read her profile, then what does this really say to her about your intentions when it comes to marriage..?
5. Liar, liar, pants on fire - by far the biggest bugbear that women have, is the tendency for some men to lets say, 'stretch the truth'. Guess what guys, most women see straight through this, but are too polite to point it out and find it easier to just dismiss you and move on. But a very important point I want to highlight here, is that women also love honesty and confidence. If you're insecure about the fact that you dont have a degree or a great job, or if you're overweight or have any of the other common insecurities out there, women will pick up on it. But instead of stretching the truth, or outright lying to disguise your insecurities, there's something far deeper and more attractive that you can do to overcome them. Embrace everything about yourself - and just be honest bro.
So there you have the 5 biggest mistakes that men make when it comes to their online dating profiles.
Now for those of you reading this that may already be married, be thankful that you no longer have to navigate the wonderful world of online dating.
But, you may have an entirely different set of problems that need dealing with...
And whilst I’m no dating coach, as a relationship coach I do happen to know a thing or two about helping people who are stuck in unhappy marriages, either improve their situation and build towards a happier and healthier marriage; or help you take some very important decisions and finally move forward in your life.
Here’s where to go to start getting unstuck: