I recently watched the series ‘Dead To Me’ on Netflix, which follows the life of two women (Jen & Judy) who are mourning the loss of their partners - Jen to a car accident and Judy to a relationship that just got way too unhealthy.
But far from being sad and depressing, the series was funny and light hearted, and very enjoyable to watch.
However, there was one serious thing that kept occurring throughout the series that was so subtle, that perhaps only those who’ve been in an unhealthy relationship would have spotted.
Judy keeps getting tempted back into her relationship with her ex. He’s very attractive, wealthy, and comes across as a lovely guy.
But ever so subtly, he might grab her a bit too aggressively, or try to manipulate her with his words. And after being with him for so long, Judy is able to recognise this is happening and call him out on it there and then.
To which he’ll immediately (and I mean immediately) respond with ‘I’m sorry’.
And she’ll always reply ‘that’s ok’.
And then they move on.
But it continues happening...almost as though him saying sorry is not really saying sorry at all - it’s just become something that’s said in order for the relationship to move on.
He’s not really sorry at all...
And Judy, by saying ‘it’s ok’, is clearly struggling with seeing that he doesn’t actually mean it.
Judy does eventually see him for what he is - and without ruining the story for those that haven’t yet watched it - he definitely suffers for it lol.
But this whole ‘sorry, not sorry’ thing definitely keeps people in relationships for longer than they need to be. The guy knows that this is all that’s needed to gain forgiveness and for the woman to have fresh hope that their mistreatment will end this time.
Until sometimes years later they realise that in actual fact, nothing has changed at all.
Words mean absolutely nothing, if they’re not backed up with the accompanying action.
So if time has passed and you feel that things just aren’t improving in your own marriage, then maybe it’s time to step back and take stock of things, with a clearer mind and with the ability to weigh up everything that’s going on in your marriage.
And that’s exactly what we’ll do in a private
1-1 Relationship Breakthrough session.
These 1 hour sessions are held over the phone and are the perfect opportunity for you to look at your marriage from a new perspective.
And for the next two weeks, you can grab one for free (there are only 5 available) by going here: