One of the biggest challenges people face when it comes to navigating their way through an unhappy marriage, is managing expectations.
This goes for people who are trying to to fix their marriage - and those that want to leave and end it for good.
Both can fall into the trap of expecting things to quickly improve for the better - and for life to be easier and void of any more difficult times.
And I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but life just isn't like that.
And the sooner we accept this, the better we'll be able to manage not just our expectations, but also the journey we choose to pursue with all the bumps in the road that come with it.
Think about it - since when was something easy worth pursuing?
It's always the things that we have to work hard for in life that pay off the most - just look at what we have to go through to get a good education/career or raise a family.
So in the same breath we shouldn't expect married life to be in a walk in the park - especially when we're trying to improve an unhealthy one - or make a fresh, clean break.
For those that want to stay in their marriage and make positive changes to improve the relationship, they may not realise that it's the small but consistent steps that are taken over time that create lasting change in a marriage.
Expecting these changes to occur overnight can lead to disappointment and frustration, as it can appear as though nothing is actually changing - even though they are - they're just changing slowly.
After all, this a relationship between two human beings, and it needs feeding, nurturing and the patience to watch it grow over time.
Likewise for those women who really just want to move on and start fresh, and finally end their unhealthy marriage - managing expectations is crucial. And acceptance of the fact that it's not going to be a walk in the park is a huge part of this. Leaving a marriage is never going to be easy - but accepting this and taking small, but consistent actions towards the end goal, makes the process easier to manage and way less overwhelming.
As the saying goes...softlee softlee catchy monkey i.e. don't rush, and be patient with the process.
You will get there insha'Allah, and removing these expectations gives us the breathing space to see things through at a much more natural pace.
And that's exactly what we do in my ‘Effortless Relationships’ coaching programme, which includes live monthly coaching and support, plus access to my Effortless Relationships 5-part online digital training programme.
And you can get started by watching the first module for free, simply by going here: