When my ex husband finally accepted that we wouldn't be getting back together, he quietly agreed that he would give me my Islamic divorce.
All I needed to do was round up a couple of witnesses he said, go to his home and it would all be taken care of.
Whilst I busied myself with taking care of the UK civil divorce, I felt reassured that the Islamic divorce was just a logistical matter that would get taken care of, once I managed to find a suitable time for everyone to get together.
So you can imagine my surprise when I brought the conversation up again with my ex, only for him to tell me that actually, he'd changed his mind and no longer wanted to grant me the divorce.
He didn't want any of the 'blame' he argued.
So, knowing my rights as a Muslim woman, I told him that was fine, and that I'd take the longer route of applying for the 'Khula' divorce myself.
To which he basically laughed in my face and said 'you can't do that'.
He genuinely believed that a Muslim woman could only get divorced Islamically, if the man divorced her. And if he didn't, then she'd be classed as his forever.
His ignorance left me shaking my head.
In fact, in wasn't until the Islamic divorce was almost final that he seemed to really get it, and understand that yes, in Islam the woman does have the right to end her marriage - and there's nothing you can do to prevent it.
It made me wonder how many other men carry this erroneous belief around with them - and more importantly - threaten their wives with it as a way of keeping them in the marriage and making them lose all hope of ever being Islamically divorced.
I loved getting my Islamic divorce through the post - it was the ultimate way of showing him that he could no longer control me and that I had rights that were there to protect me.
And you have those same rights too.
If you need more information on the Khula divorce process for Muslim women, then message me and I'll get back to you personally.
And if you want regular, live coaching support on all the other challenges that come with navigating an unhealthy or unhappy marriage - then you'll want to check out my ‘Effortless Relationships’ programme.
It includes live monthly coaching and support, plus access to my Effortless Relationships 5-part online digital training programme.
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